You probably know how to get along with or handle a person once you’re introduced. The problem is how to get introduced and get things going.

First of all, when you were 18, the ratio of boys to girls was about right. For women, as you get older the number of competitors per guy increases, rising particularly sharply after 50. Since most gals insist on dating guys older than they, this means that from 40 to 45 and on, for the women the competition starts to become more keen than it has been.

What happens to all the men as you get older? Four times as many men commit suicide; many more men are locked away in institutions than women; many are off in the service; women outlive men, men die off at a faster rate; more men than women are homosexual.

Now your friends probably can fix you up with an opportunity to meet many fellows, but what do you do when there is no one around to introduce you? What do you do when Prince (or, for the fellas, Princess) Charming rides by?

You may be ordinary looking and the only person in this world who thinks you’re terribly charming is your mother. This does not need to keep you from falling in love with someone ex­traordinary. You have probably wondered if there is some sensational way to meet the tens of thousands of singles available. Like many of us you are probably looking for some easy answer.

HOW’S YOUR SALES TECHNIQUE?

This article and paper aren’t going to promise any magic elixir - just some points and methods you should keep in mind in learning to play the game successfully. In the same way, a book on sales, or a sales magazine, is not going to do any actual selling for salesman Sam, but it can keep him informed and educated on how to go about selling, and inspire him with the result that he improves his selling “batting average.”

This salesman also knows that if he makes 20 calls or presentations, he makes 5 sales or some such consistent batting average. If he improves his methods, he may improve next week to 6 sales out of 20 calls. To do more business or improve sales, he 1) im­proves his technique or 2) he makes more calls and has more chances for a sale.

Now what usually happens is that the salesman who makes 30 calls (half again as many as the other sales­man) instead of getting 7.5 sales, as expected from this number of calls, will get a bigger percent than usual because a) he is getting more practice than the others and b) he is making more sales and money so he is enthusiastic.
The point is, this works for you. The more people you are able to meet, the more sales (interesting people who are interested in you) develop. Now you can improve your technique and up your batting average, but what we want to get into this issue is increas­ing your number of calls (contacts or opportunities) by taking advantage of everyday situations and making more opportunities. If you get lots of practice meeting the opposite sex (calls), you will then get more opportu­nity to improve your technique.

HOW DO YOU SAY HELLO?

Next time Prince (or Princess) Charming walks by and is headed right back out of your life, what do you say to get acquainted? Simple. Ask them a question, like, “I am new in town. Where does everyone go here to meet people?” Comment about something they have or are wearing and ask a question.
As we mentioned, in everyday situations, find some way to let them know you are single. Actually, say anything you like - just get a conversa­tion going. “What’s your name?” is not being forward.
Do not be afraid to try for fear you’ll get rebuffed. Sure, a good salesman does not have all winners. He knows that you can’t be afraid to try because you might be rebuffed. You certainly are not going to make any sales (meet interesting people who are interested in you) by hiding in a corner.

You have heard “I met the nicest man on the place last week,” or “I talked to the nicest woman on the elevator this morning.” It’s good to meet people where you are - everything does not have to be just right if you are not afraid of taking advantage of every opportunity to meet people and to practice meeting people. Sure, there are lots of singles (especially women) who have gotten it into their heads that they don’t talk to strangers. Remem­ber, all of your friends were strangers at one time.

You only live once and you should enjoy life and have fun as you go, not some future imaginary time that never arrives. Thirty years ago, you would assume it was impossible to strike up a relationship with a stranger, but that was 30 years ago. With the way things are now, why should you have to pretend you do not want to become acquainted with someone you really want to meet.

So your only question now is - how can I get them to notice me. People are fun and exciting. When you meet them, wherever you are, it’s your own choice (nobody is fixing you up with some blind date). What is more sensible than that?
Most people are lonely. You may think - Oh, they have all the dates they want. Well, if that’s what you are thinking, you are out of your mind.

MEN ARE APPROACHABLE

Ladies, keep in mind that men are more sensitive and lonely than women, and when they are not dating, they get terribly lonely, blue and depressed. They depend on personal relationships and love. They are always looking to meet new women. He may not be that attached to the women he’s been dating, or he may not have been dating at all.
So there is no need to be afraid. You aren’t going to lose anything. You can get rebuffed, but how can you lose something you never had? Don’t be afraid to meet people. Most singles want to meet people of the opposite sex, but are afraid you won’t like them. When you let them know you are friendly, you make things so much easier for them. Fear, of course, is normal - and very defeating. However, if you’re afraid to meet people, you certainly aren’t going to meet any.
Actually, no matter who you are or what you look like, you have every reason in the world to be su­premely confident. People are sensitive creatures - afraid of making a commit­ment and then getting shot down. Develop a way of making things easy and less risky in this regard for them. This can be a far more valuable talent than super good looks or great wit and charm.

We want someone warm and interesting more than we want someone with super good looks (yes, men feel that way too.) Make them feel wanted. Remember, a smile can melt any iceberg. Don’t go all to pieces talking to Prince or Princess Charming. There are millions of them in the world.
Don’t hide your best features - advertise them. Let them know what’s interesting and exciting about you. Don’t worry that you should be shorter or taller or thinner or better looking. Just be yourself- the greatest technique of all. Don’t try to be something you aren’t in order to make an impression. Learn to relax - you’re not fighting dragons. You are just going to talk to them, that’s all. If they choose to ignore you or not respond to you, you still wind up alive and well.

Remember, any rejection is only temporary. Five minutes later you can be talking to someone else. The worst thing that can happen is you can get your feelings hurt a little. Don’t get uptight - the opposite sex wants to meet you as much as you want to meet them

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